Thursday, January 30, 2014

Saying GoodBye

Family picture from October 2013
I don't even know where to begin since I had no idea I'd be needing to say all this so soon. I know my talk of Morgan's cancer has been minimal so here is a brief overview:

  • Early August 2013: He began limping on his rear right leg, vet thought maybe ACL injury
  • Late August: Stopped walking on right rear leg
  • Early September: Xrays showed a large tumor in his femur (osteosarcoma)
  • Sept 23rd: Met with oncologist at University and scheduled for biopsy and drug study
  • Sept 25th: Amputation (Due to the extent of tumor his bone was shattered so we pushed ahead quick and bypassed the study)
  • October 16th-Dec 11th: IV chemo every 3 weeks until Dec 11th when his lungs showed tumor growth meaning chemo was not working.
  • December 11th: Started oral chemo 3x week in hopes of slowing tumor growth
  • January 21st: Started seeing limping in front left leg
  • January 29th: Follow up with oncologist to look at leg and lungs to assess how oral chemo was working. Worst case we expected another leg tumor. Never expected what we heard...

The oncologist walked in, opened the Xrays and I could see it from across the room: an enlarged heart and bilateral pneumothorax (lung collapse). In a person I'd throw in a tube to release the air but Morgan's was due to tumor rupturing and would never repair. We heard the worst, he'd likely suffocate and stop breathing soon. This was it, time to say good bye. We knew it was coming but not this abruptly. We headed home to have time and let O say goodbye. I started to see that Morgan wasn't himself anymore and his breathing was worsening. We decided to meet with our own vet, which perked Morgan up. He loved them and they all loved him (he had recently spent 12 days there while we were on vacation). His quirky personality was unforgettable. And now the tears are flowing again. We have are great memories and pictures and will never forget our wonderful 8 years with you. I honestly can't even write more without losing it completely, but the memories are never ending. Now to figure out the best way to help a 4 year old through this too.

Ironically this was taken the day he was diagnosed and I found it on my phone yesterday

We love you Morgan, you fought hard!

25 comments:

  1. This breaks my heart, I'm so sorry for you and your family. It sounds like Morgan was a wonderful dog, try to remember the really good times with him and let the tears flow, it truly does help.

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  2. So sorry for your loss :( It sounds like Morgan had a wonderful life with lots of love. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. A good long run might ease some of the pain and help you find peace. Sending some strength your way in case you need a boost!

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    1. Meeting a friend to run, that us exactly what I need <3

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  3. Oh Jen how heartbreaking! My thoughts and prayers to your family in this tough time. Stay strong.

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  4. Oh, this is giving me goosebumps because I had to put my dog down two years ago and while he was old, I was preparing for it at any minute. In your case even with the illness, this was very sudden. But as you say, you have the beautiful memories, and while you will remember the goodbye, it becomes a little bit easier. Sending a big hug on the loss of this beautiful boy.

    Maria @ The Good Life

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  5. All my love to you. My darling pup, Jack, just passed on January 11th. I know how hard it is to lose a member of the family. xo

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  6. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I have been there before and I am sending you lots of virtual hugs.

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  7. I'm so sorry for your family!!! Sending you lots of virtual hugs!!

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  8. :( I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.

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  9. I am so sorry Jen:( Such a loss. I love that you found that sweet pic on your phone yesterday though:) Maybe Morgan saying all will be okay:)

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  10. So sorry to hear this. Furkids bring so much joy and happiness into our lives. I am sure Morgan will be waiting for you all at the Rainbow Bridge.

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  11. So sorry to hear this! Such a sad story. We all need to go home and hug our furkids today.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss. We have a lab too and this just breaks my heart. They are such special companions. Wishing you comfort.

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  13. So sorry for your loss. We went through this with our chocolate lab, with lymphoma. He was my first dog, and he was only 7. It's so hard to lose such a treasured member of the family. My heart goes out to you and yours...

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  14. How terribly sad, for your family, and especially your daughter. Sending hugs and prayers of wisdom in knowing just what to say to her little tender heart.

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our golden retriever, Sammy, to osteosarcoma in August of last year. It was one of the hardest things I've gone through and we miss him so much, every day :( Our 5-year-old really struggled with it. Sending hugs and healing prayers to you guys.

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  16. I'm sorry for your loss. It can be so hard to lose a beloved pet.

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  17. So incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and your family and I am sending hugs and love your way!

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  18. So sorry to read this. It is so hard to lose a pet, a member of your family.

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  19. I am so, so sorry. I can't tell you how much this sounds just like what had happened with my girl over the summer. It happened so fast that when we took her to the vet for a round of chemo, she had to warn me how very little time was left. By the next night, my poor girl was definitely not herself and I knew it was time. Anyway, I am so sorry anyone else had to go through this. If I could, I would do anything I could to stop this terrible disease. I am so glad Morgan had a happy family and good last months with you. I love seeing families that love their dogs so much that they can take them out of pain and make the decision to amputate. I will never regret having done that for Lemon, as she was such a happier dog post-amputation and out of pain. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk! Hugs!

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    1. Thanks Amy, so sorry you had to go through this too :( I couldn't have imagined not amputating, it made his life so much better the last few months <3

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss. A pet is another member of the family, and it is so hard to lose such a great companion.

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  21. Oh, this is heart breaking. I am so sorry.

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