After a few weeks of less than ideal 3 year old behavior I
decided to write to vent and gain insight from others. So today, no writing
about running although this often makes me want to run! Alright parents, we all
hear the “Terrible Twos” but honestly that year was nothing compared to the 3s,
seriously there are days when I’m not sure if I have a 3 year old or a 13 year
old on my hands! Isn’t it supposed to be the teen years filled with emotional
rollercoasters, drama, pushing limits and door slamming? Not here, my 3 year old
has mastered these all!
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| We pick our battles: outfits of tutu and PJ tops are fine with me! |
Every parent has seen this: the lack of listening,
frustration leading to hitting and throwing, just plain defiance, right? I
honestly question those who say their child doesn’t do any of this, what is the
secret?
O is big into pushing limits and continuing to push complete
with the gritted teeth…
- The other day at Costco she continued to hit me with the cart strap, I tell her “that is not nice, hitting hurts” well it continues but now she has that smirk. I take away “snacks” (samples) at the store but nope not working.
- Again we are at home asking her to do who knows what: pick up toys, brush teeth, put on shoes, etc and the answer is “No” and she walks away.
- I will admit that the responses are funny at times: “I can’t pick up my toys. I only have two hands and they are little.” –Yep, she has a point there!
- And the many times where I wonder if her ears work, although when she does that thing she was told not to complete with smirk then I know the ears work! There are times when it is not just a behavior but a safety issue: leaving the yard and going in the street, running around with food in her mouth, climbing the stair railing! I try to reason and explain she could get hurt badly and think she gets that but just pushes still. She did finally learn after being told to not rock on the kitchen chair only after the entire chair fell backwards leading to a fall and a scared kid (although not hurt).
I mean I get it she is learning her independence and pushing
the boundaries but come on, nothing prepares you for this. You read all the
books and listen to the advice that says love your child, listen the them, give
them attention… but what else? It all sounds great on paper but no matter how
much of the previous is done there are days when the behavior is out of
control! A full moon, weather, parental stress, who knows?
I have tried attempting to cut off behavior early with
removing the situation, the reasoning and telling her she made the choice
(suggested by her pre-school teacher), take away toys and activities after one
time of not listening, tried time outs but that usually means just jumping on
the couch. I try to keep calm myself but we all know that doesn’t work many
times as they continue to push and now we are both escalating.
So what works? Do we just hold our breath and know that we
will survive and it has to end soon? Just love and hug our kids and teach them
to be strong through our positive example? Or is there a hidden answer
somewhere out there? If anyone knows this, please share!
She has now moved on to refusing the much needed nap, so
much she won’t stay in bed for fear of actually falling asleep! But she needs
this, luckily I can still convince her to stay in her room or I always have
this…
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| I guess BOB still means a nap! |
I run and de-stress! Parents
tell me I am not alone, please! What other tricks work? Thanks for letting me vent a little, deep breaths all around, we will survive. Even with this behavior it is all worth it when she runs up with that big hug, the giggles and tells me "You are the best mommy ever."
